I don't know what to write. I think I am in a bit of slump. Or maybe "holding pattern" is a better description. I spent the last month basically purging my house and getting rid of old clothes, furniture, books, etc. That felt SO good! Then we had the heat wave where basically all one could do was sit in front of a fan and wait it out.
Things have been ...well, let's say "tetchy" at church lately. Lately I am only going to Sunday Mass and nothing else. I am not even reading the bible or my religious books, I am not praying (except a silent version of Grace before meals) and I am sad about the state of my children's Godless lives. I think even Nikki has been talking to her mother about Buddhism. *sigh* But I digress...
After three years of no progress (except for demolishing the smelly old empty convent) the parish council has ramped up efforts to renovate the church proper. A much needed addition was built around 2004 with spacious meetings rooms, a proper kitchen, expanded bathrooms and updated and more private office space but we need to bring our circa 1972 church into the 21st century!
There was a lot of bitterness surrounding the expansion but now there isn't one person that could say it was a bad idea. I can't imagine where we would have held mission talks, movie night, funeral receptions, etc. without the space. Was this done in the foyer?? I don't even want to know.
There were more protests when it was deemed that the old convent could not be salvaged. I am not even going to get into that one. Convent is gone and is not missed. Funny thing though - the convent held the adoration chapel. There was a small group that wanted to keep it there instead of moving it into the church. Another small group in the church who could care less about adoration jumped on the bandwagon with the Adorers in an effort to keep the building. However, their motive was far from pure - they just wanted to exert pressure on Parish Council and not let us do what we knew was the right decision.
I am starting to wonder if people from either "camp" dislike me. I don't really care. I stand behind every motion I voted on. Members of council are called to be good stewards of the parish money and to follow local laws while upholding the mind of the Church. It's not that hard really. But these special interest groups think they know what is best and are very vocal about it. I admit I like to think I know what is best too. I don't consider myself terribly neutral and I am waaaay more right-wing-capital-letter-C-Conservative but at the same time I do try to listen to what people are saying. Liberals have been known to surprise me (favorably.)
Which leads me to wonder if our faith is too political? Can one separate the two? Is a Conservative that helps the poor really a liberal?
Or maybe certain factions in the Church want to run it. That usually scares me if it's people (particularly women) who converted to Catholicism during the 1960s - 1980s. I've been reading a book lately called "Ungodly Rage- The Hidden Face of Catholic Feminism" by Donna Steichen. Interesting read!
I always wondered how nuns and sisters who entered religious life before Vatican II could turn out to be such granola crunchers?! Ms. Steichen's theory is that these women (generally young and unsophisticated) were taught obedience (before and after entering religious life) and weren't really taught critical thinking skills. Then along comes the 1960s and 1970s and they followed along and began to believe the lies. That is a poor paraphrase of a whole chapter but that's it in a nutshell. And that garbage is still tainting our Church today. In fact I found out that when our present church building was designed it was mainly by Protestant converts of the late 1960s. No offense to Protestants in general - just to poorly formed converts and their misguided teachers.
Hmm...and I thought I had nothing to write?
I've been down a bit too as the anniversary of my mom's passing is coming up Aug. 15. Then I am going to the un-religious wedding of my step-daughter. Sept. 11 is the anniversary of my dad's passing and a few weeks after that Luke deploys to Afghanistan. I know my faith is not an anaesthetic but I think adding a few devotions might make this time more bearable. Off to find my rosary beads....
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